Wednesday, July 14, 2010
I just love this picture. It's from Bay Beach that day I was supposed to go to chemo but didn't. :) I love how ever since we were dating, Matt would invite me to sit on his lap, but I would protest that I'm too heavy. He would say "No you're not." So I would sit, and he would inevitably at some point make some kind of groaning noise indicating that yes, in fact, I was too heavy. I think something like that happened in this picture. :)
Chemo has once again knocked me on my keester (not gonna lie...I had to look up how to spell that since it's not my standby alternative-for-backside term) and I hate it more than ever. I just keep praying that if this really is the way that God has planned healing for me, He will continue to give me strength to get through it.
The good news, however, is that the most prominent effect from it this time is exhaustion. Not the awful GI stuff I've had the last 2 times. For this, I am grateful. So very grateful.
As one of my inspirations, Niki Ochenski Weller, who went through 5 long years of illness before being healed said, "I used to tell God, 'I can do anything for half a second.'" I've felt that way many times over the last few days. God is there, always, without fail, in that half a second. He is NOW. He is not in the "What happens next time I have to go for treatment? Who will take care of Eva? How will I get through moving into a new house?" or the zillions of other things I could be worrying about. He is in the right now this instant. And in this very instant He is faithful. Of course He does hold my future, but we're not there yet. We're here, in this half of a second. And I thank Him for always being there.