I do wish I had more time to update you all. It's not that I have any big news to share, but there are so many little things and "small" blessings each and every day and I would love to be able to share, but here it is, 12:15pm, and I sit here typing while in my PJs because, well, Eva needed to eat and be bathed and be played with, and then she needed to eat again, and now that she's down for a nap and I have cleaned the kitchen, straightened up a little, made the bed, put laundry away...I just felt like sitting and writing for a while rather than showering. Anyway, this entry will probably be short because I do need to shower. Going to my doctor appointment this afternoon in my pajamas just isn't an option for me. I have definitely lost some dignity...first through pregnancy, and now with all the tests and treatment. And I'm not nearly the perfectionist I once was (praise God for that!) but still, I'm not at a point where I can go in public in my PJs. :)
I am still feeling great! Last week Thursday I went in for treatment and was told that my blood counts were too low to receive it. I didn't know whether to be happy or sad, but I was definitely frustrated. When your body isn't behaving how it's supposed to, and you're told by multiple nurses that there's nothing you can do about it, it's a frustrating experience. Low blood counts are a direct result of all the chemo I've received, but I refused to believe there's "nothing I can do about it." I was given the option to receive a blood transfusion, which I discussed with an amazing nurse practitioner named Denise. I decided to decline it, and come back in 2 days to check my levels. For those next two days, Matt and I spoke to my blood and bone marrow, commanding it to restore itself in Jesus' name. (have I ever shared with you that there is scientific proof that our speech center controls the rest of our body? So speaking words like this are useful. Then add the authority graciously given to us through Jesus and His atonement, and these words carry much power.) I went back in Saturday for a blood test, and all my levels (red cells, white cells and platelets) had increased to levels where I did not need a transfusion. Praise God!!!
Today I go in to see Dr. Ritch and reevaluate the treatment schedule.
I wanted to mention something encouraging about the pain I was having. When I was on the chemo that was essentially not working, the pain would return 4-5 days after treatment and get progressively worse until the next treatment when the steroids would take it away for 4-5 days. Well, it's been 2 weeks since my last treatment, and I am still pain free. This is a huge blessing!!! Also, Denise the NP said that my liver function is improving and another number they look at as a tumor marker is down. She was excited about this, so I am very grateful for that as well.
Yesterday I was blessed with Pastor Hanthorn of Christian Life Center in Germantown and a visiting missionary coming over to pray for me. Michael (my brother) was here too. The missionary has seen many people healed (of cancer and many other diseases) and he said that when he was on the way over God was telling him that I would not die, but live. I told him that I absolutely believe this. It was wonderful to have confirmation of what I believe. God is good!!
Psalm 118:17 I will not die but live and proclaim the works of the LORD.