Yesterday was a long day. I have often wondered over the course of the past 6 weeks why the journey has been so long up until now. Don't most people with cancer get diagnosed and then begin treatment right away? I believe there are many reasons, most of which I just don't understand, as to why things are the way they are with me. Yesterday though, God reminded me of the best blessing this journey has brought thus far, and that is the amazing people I've met along the way. Yesterday was no exception.
The morning began with my mom and me at the hospital to get my port and then start chemo. We were both very broken as we sat waiting for things to begin. Mom looked up "healed" on Bible Gateway, and just read me verses. While we both believe my healing will come, we had hoped and prayed it would come before chemo started. As it became clear that was not going to be the case, we were both discouraged.
Enter my nurses, Polly and Kim. Both of their lives have been touched by cancer (Polly's brother-in-law, and Kim herself). They were full of amazing encouragement. Polly gave us many resources to explore, as her brother-in-law's cancer was also unknown primary. You know, I don't even know how to explain how it changed things to have met them, but my mom said it felt as though Jesus was right there with us and I think that's the best way to describe it.
My port was placed without any issue. I found out from Polly before going into surgery that my surgeon is a Christian who will pray over his patients before starting surgery. I asked him to pray for me, and he said he would. They also let me keep my Bible with me as I fell asleep for surgery. I don't know if it was there the whole time, but when I woke up in recovery, I had it with me again.
My chemo took about 5 hours after the port was placed. I was getting discouraged again, so I decided to watch some healing testimonies. Can I just say that up until 6 weeks ago, I didn't understand why God doesn't heal today. I asked for wisdom in that area, and I have learned SO much, even without really seeking it out. I have just sought God, and He answered me. In one little blog post, I can't even begin to convey what I've learned. But here's a little bit.
1. God DOES heal today. I have seen and heard some amazing stories of it.
2. God WANTS to heal everyone.
3. God WILL heal me.
There, I said it! I have felt up until now that it would come across as arrogant for me to say this. But it's not arrogance. It is confidence. For those of you who don't believe, I will not try to convince you. All I will say is wait and see...wait and see.
In the meantime, I am already experiencing nausea which I'm guessing is from chemo though they didn't think it would start this early. I'm eating when I can, pushing fluids, and keeping up with my anti-nausea meds. I go in next week for IV fluids, as well as blood work and an MRI. The days I have to go are Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. If anyone is free those days to either go with me, or watch Eva I would be forever grateful!! Just email me and let me know.
Oh, and some very exciting news! I have not taken pain meds since 9 p.m. last night and that was just Tylenol. My back pain is gone completely. Thank you Jesus!