Yesterday was a long day. I have often wondered over the course of the past 6 weeks why the journey has been so long up until now. Don't most people with cancer get diagnosed and then begin treatment right away? I believe there are many reasons, most of which I just don't understand, as to why things are the way they are with me. Yesterday though, God reminded me of the best blessing this journey has brought thus far, and that is the amazing people I've met along the way. Yesterday was no exception.
The morning began with my mom and me at the hospital to get my port and then start chemo. We were both very broken as we sat waiting for things to begin. Mom looked up "healed" on Bible Gateway, and just read me verses. While we both believe my healing will come, we had hoped and prayed it would come before chemo started. As it became clear that was not going to be the case, we were both discouraged.
Enter my nurses, Polly and Kim. Both of their lives have been touched by cancer (Polly's brother-in-law, and Kim herself). They were full of amazing encouragement. Polly gave us many resources to explore, as her brother-in-law's cancer was also unknown primary. You know, I don't even know how to explain how it changed things to have met them, but my mom said it felt as though Jesus was right there with us and I think that's the best way to describe it.
My port was placed without any issue. I found out from Polly before going into surgery that my surgeon is a Christian who will pray over his patients before starting surgery. I asked him to pray for me, and he said he would. They also let me keep my Bible with me as I fell asleep for surgery. I don't know if it was there the whole time, but when I woke up in recovery, I had it with me again.
My chemo took about 5 hours after the port was placed. I was getting discouraged again, so I decided to watch some healing testimonies. Can I just say that up until 6 weeks ago, I didn't understand why God doesn't heal today. I asked for wisdom in that area, and I have learned SO much, even without really seeking it out. I have just sought God, and He answered me. In one little blog post, I can't even begin to convey what I've learned. But here's a little bit.
1. God DOES heal today. I have seen and heard some amazing stories of it.
2. God WANTS to heal everyone.
3. God WILL heal me.
There, I said it! I have felt up until now that it would come across as arrogant for me to say this. But it's not arrogance. It is confidence. For those of you who don't believe, I will not try to convince you. All I will say is wait and see...wait and see.
In the meantime, I am already experiencing nausea which I'm guessing is from chemo though they didn't think it would start this early. I'm eating when I can, pushing fluids, and keeping up with my anti-nausea meds. I go in next week for IV fluids, as well as blood work and an MRI. The days I have to go are Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. If anyone is free those days to either go with me, or watch Eva I would be forever grateful!! Just email me and let me know.
Oh, and some very exciting news! I have not taken pain meds since 9 p.m. last night and that was just Tylenol. My back pain is gone completely. Thank you Jesus!
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Rachel I have to tell you that I cried when I read your post because I know I was not the only one praying for an angel to be there to help you and your mom through the day yesterday. God is indeed good! Praise God that your back pain has subsided!! Prayers are still flowing!
ReplyDelete~ Nann ~
Hi Sweetie...I'm so glad the port placement went well. Keep those healing thoughts flowing..between God, the chemo and those good thoughts,your body will heal itself. You are in my prayers everyday honey. Stop by the G.I. Lab if you are at Froedtert. xoxo Dana
ReplyDeleteI have heard chemo is very physically difficult. I really hope you are doing okay. My heart goes out to you and yours. Stay strong, I know you will!
ReplyDeleteMy Dear Rachel: Never forget that God provides us with everything we need. When you are in the thick of things, the devil is tempting us to forget who our Savior is. We must not. Resources are all around you and those of us who have traveled this path before, can help...will help. Check your email when you are feeling up to it and a terrific pair of physicians have extended their hand to offer you information. They were incredibly helpful to us.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering if on Friday, you were presented with radiofrequency ablation options? Fernette brought that up in the e-mail too.
Ride out that nausea. Tell it to go away. Really. Imagine your body healed, nausea free and on the way to wholeness. God asks us to ask him for healing. Remember, WHY NOT RACHEL?
Seek the Lord and his strength;
seek his presence continually!
—Psalm 105:4
Love,
Polly
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. – Philippians 4:6
ReplyDeleteAre you a Star Witness? - May 24, 2010
ReplyDeleteDevotion - Are you a Star Witness? - May 24, 2010
Daily devotion from John 15:26-27.
See series: Devotions "When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me. And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning."
John 15:26-27
Have you seen some of the recent headlines in the news? “BP Oil Execs to testify before Congress.” “Executives from GM to testify before congressional hearing.” “Clinton, Gates to testify on weapons reduction treaty.” Testimony is flying around Capitol Hill. The purpose or desired outcome for these hearings may be unclear, but the experts come and give their story.
If you were called to Capitol Hill to testify to the reality of Christ and his implications on the world, would you be prepared? Would you consider yourself a star witness? Or would you rather be on the other side of the table listening to what people might say to convince you that Jesus really was who he said he was?
When Jesus was about to leave this world, he promised to send the star witness, his Holy Spirit, to testify as to who he is and what he did. The unique nature of this witness is that he would never be tempted to tell a lie, in fact his testimony would always be true. He is called the Spirit of Truth! Just yesterday the Church observed the festival of Pentecost, the day this “Star Witness” was sent to validate and give clarity to the message of Jesus in 3000 hearts and give birth to the Christian church. Today he still testifies to the world through the words of the Holy Bible, a complete testimony to the work of Jesus Christ.
Yet, it wasn’t just the testimony of the Holy Spirit, but also the witness of those that had “been with Jesus from the beginning.” Those disciples were the first key witnesses to the world to proclaim, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).
Now it’s our turn to be star witnesses. How? Maybe you have questions and today it’s time to search the pages of the Bible or peruse the website, www.whataboutjesus.com, for answers. If you have seen and realized the blessing of Jesus in your life, may God give you someone today to whom you can testify to the faith God’s Holy Spirit has given to you!
Prayer:
Holy Spirit, come into my heart today to give me clarity and strengthening of my faith in Jesus. Help me to see Jesus more clearly and confidently as my Savior and Lord. Amen.