I have been wanting to write a bit about this for a while now, and I just don't even know how to put into words what I want to say. I hope that what I say comes across as real and true, because it's been more real than anything I've ever experienced in my life.
I've been a Christian for most of my life, but I've never experienced this day to day all-encompassing care and love that God has been showing me. In the weirdest way, life is better now than it has ever been before. And this is why I worry that this post will not sound truthful. How could life be better when I have a possibly "incurable" cancer? When life is spinning out of control? When each day brings about crazy unknowns and new challenges that I never expected I would experience? Here's how: up until this point, I have underestimated God. I now realize and confess that have always thought of Him as my "ticket to heaven", and while I have always been grateful for His sacrifice for me, I have rarely considered the implications of following an all-powerful supernatural God in this life.
One huge implication that I have been learning about is that God HEALS! I am talking about real supernatural physical healing. I have learned that God does not bring sickness to people, and it is not His will for me (or for anyone) to be sick. This is a huge shift from what I've always believed. Two months ago when I first heard "cancer", I rushed to resign myself to the fact that I was sick, and that God has brought this illness to me to teach me something. While I tried to accept it, something about that viewpoint didn't match up with what I knew about the character of God. So I've sought truth, and I've found it. (Not that I've grasped the whole truth, but I am certainly farther along than I was 2 months ago). God does not bring sickness. God HEALS! I am so excited for His healing to manifest itself in my body (perhaps it already has) so that I can show anyone and everyone in my circle of influence that I serve an AMAZINGLY GOOD God who not only has the power to heal physically, but the power to do eternally more than that.
I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.