I have been wanting to write a bit about this for a while now, and I just don't even know how to put into words what I want to say. I hope that what I say comes across as real and true, because it's been more real than anything I've ever experienced in my life.
I've been a Christian for most of my life, but I've never experienced this day to day all-encompassing care and love that God has been showing me. In the weirdest way, life is better now than it has ever been before. And this is why I worry that this post will not sound truthful. How could life be better when I have a possibly "incurable" cancer? When life is spinning out of control? When each day brings about crazy unknowns and new challenges that I never expected I would experience? Here's how: up until this point, I have underestimated God. I now realize and confess that have always thought of Him as my "ticket to heaven", and while I have always been grateful for His sacrifice for me, I have rarely considered the implications of following an all-powerful supernatural God in this life.
One huge implication that I have been learning about is that God HEALS! I am talking about real supernatural physical healing. I have learned that God does not bring sickness to people, and it is not His will for me (or for anyone) to be sick. This is a huge shift from what I've always believed. Two months ago when I first heard "cancer", I rushed to resign myself to the fact that I was sick, and that God has brought this illness to me to teach me something. While I tried to accept it, something about that viewpoint didn't match up with what I knew about the character of God. So I've sought truth, and I've found it. (Not that I've grasped the whole truth, but I am certainly farther along than I was 2 months ago). God does not bring sickness. God HEALS! I am so excited for His healing to manifest itself in my body (perhaps it already has) so that I can show anyone and everyone in my circle of influence that I serve an AMAZINGLY GOOD God who not only has the power to heal physically, but the power to do eternally more than that.
Psalm 118:17
I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.
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Rachel, It is not strange to read how you are experiencing such joy in this crisis. My dad, who passed away from pancreatic cancer in 2006, came to the point where, when he shared his testimony, he could confidently say he thanked God for his cancer. Not only did it provide him a personal revival, but it opened so many doors to share God's Word, and see people accept Jesus as their Savior. It is one of the many things I will always remember about that time with him, his joy. Paul O. (friend of Michael's)
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